The road to accepting my sexuality as a niqabi Muslim
I come from a very conservative family. I learnt the Quran since I was a baby, wore a hijab, & even tried the niqab for a few years.
The first time I heard about LGBT was in 7th grade when a teacher was explaining the idea through one of the Surahs about the prophet Lut & his people's story. I didn't think much of it. I then encountered the subject again a few years later when I secretly had a blog on Tumblr, & at first the in-your-face stuff about LGBT horrified me.
Slowly, I came to my own conclusion about the subject & accepted the idea that maybe two people of the same gender can love each other & it can be as pure as any other type of romance.
In my last year of high school, I realized I was a lesbian. At first, I wasn't ready to accept that I could ever like a girl, but when i looked at my life it was suddenly so obvious. I never had a crush on a boy, but I remember sometimes thinking one of my classmates (who were all girls) was cute.
It was scary to accept, but I came to terms with it by the time I finished high school, even while being a niqabi. I had never felt so free, which was ironic because there was no way I could ever come out in my home. ever. It was dangerous, but I thought I could live with it as my own special secret.
My best friend, who I've known since 7th grade, was the only person I ever trusted. She's also a girl from a conservative family but is so open-minded. One day, we were discussing the story of Lut & how our interpretation was different than what was taught to us. Looking back, it was dangerous, but I very much loved her & trusted her with my whole life, so I told her I like girls.
She looked at me for a moment, & then shrugged & said okay. She had a few questions, but other than that she's been nothing but supportive to me. I don't think I can ever fully come out, & it's not much, but coming out to my best friend was a blessing I didn't know I needed because despite where I lived, I still had one person I could be myself around.